…pictures have to suffice.
My words are nothing but lament of late…lament for suffering, for hunger, for household inconveniences, for isolation…they tell the tale of post-surgical depression. So…rousing myself to stand on both front and back porch, I leave you with a few pretty pictures of this morning’s snow and fog…and branches etched in delicate crystal:
Blessings,
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged snow pics | 4 Comments »
Literally.
Snow drifts against the backdoor make it impossible to open…I’m so thankful for a teenage boy who will brave the 35 mph wind gusts and sub-freezing temperatures to shovel it away!
It’s so incredibly gusty and cold that I took these pictures from inside the house…my big guy lifted the screens so I could get a decent shot:
Our county is under a level 2 snow emergency. The roads are nearly impassable, our driveway is invisible and the cars are buried…
Now…I love snow. I have dreams about snow. Every year, I ask God to send me snow for my birthday and I always, always get some…even if it’s just a couple flakes (it helps that my birthday is in January!)
But this…no…I don’t love this. This is not a snowfall that we can enjoy…at least not today! Temperatures are crazy cold, gusts are creating drifts several feet deep and attending Mass on Sunday is beginning to seem unlikely. We live in what meteorologists refer to as the I-70 corridor…just a few minutes outside of Franklin county, our weather can be markedly different at any given time of the year. It seems the wind is always higher, snow falls faster and thicke, and it doesn’t take long for a minor weather situation to turn into a great big mess…
But it is pretty. And we have nothing like what the east coast is getting slammed with once again…
So…once the wind dies down, the children will dig into those 4 to 6 foot drifts. I foresee a village of igloos and snowmen. Snow forts and tunnels. And a very, very big snowball fight!
Right now, I’m thankful for electricity…we still have ours. For stocked cabinets and a weekend to ‘dig out.’ Hubby is home, we’re all safe and we’re praying for the east coast as they are certainly facing a mess of historic proportions…
Blessings,
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged ohio, snow | 3 Comments »
Visit Peggy at The Simple Woman for more Daybook entries!
FOR TODAY – February 5th, 2010
Outside my Window….a mad swirl of enormous white flakes. Ten to twelve inches of snow in our forecast. Oh, that this were two months earlier…I’m so ready for spring. For daffodils and daisies. For soft, green grass and the smell of the earth ready for planting. It makes for a pretty picture, this blanket of white, hiding all that is dead and brown…and we have nowhere to go. Once hubby is home, safe and sound, we’ll all be snug and content to be together.
Thinking…about love. As we approach St. Valentine’s Day, I’ve been meditating more and more on what it means to be truly loving. I’m praying that God will help me to continue to improve in this area, that all my actions be motivated by a true, unselfish, unconditional love…I’m surrounded by so much of it, I want to give more…this recovery has taken so much out of me, and I feel I’ve been on the receiving end more than the giving end, of late. I’m hoping to improve that…
Thankful for…my sweet family. For a husband that loves me and our children. For every little improvement in my daily condition, since surgery. On the material side…for my iPod Touch. 32 GBs of happiness! For ibreviary, ipieta and Intuition. For audiobooks and fairytales at the touch of a finger. For WordPress blogging, from the comfort of my couch, at the touch of a finger…hubby and I rarely exchange gifts, reserving what we have for the children. This gift has been such a blessing, particularly during my “downtime.” I can’t recommend it highly enough…
From the kitchen…Potato soup. I have no motivation where food is concerned. I’m dropping weight like mad…first, food was impossible to swallow. Now…the taste is just horrible. Everything, everything is sickeningly sweet. It doesn’t matter what it is. And I’m just not one for sweets. Salt and crunch…that’s me. This is dreadful and I’m praying that it is just a short term side effect. In the meantime…I’ve lost 20 pounds in two weeks. That says a lot…
Faith and learning…We’ve managed to get school done everyday. Core subjects only, as mom is still mostly confined to the couch, but school nonetheless. The little ones are progressing beautifully in the subjects that matter most. I’d been quite concerned with my two youngest sons’ progress in spelling and writing. Eliminating the other subjects for the past couple of weeks has made focusing on these subjects so much easier and they’re quickly improving in both areas. I’d actually considered a paid tutor, but am pleased to see that concentrated effort is what is most needed. And no distractions…
Creating…well…after weeks of very strong narcotics, I found it impossible to focus on the smallest task for than a few minutes. I’ve been crocheting a bit more, because it’s so much easier to put aside, and I never use a pattern. I’ve made two flapper hats, a pair of gauntlet gloves and a dolly dress. I’m hoping to get back to my knitting. I have two pairs of socks to finish and a host of other projects I’d love to begin. Just trying to take things a day at a time…
Planning…to heal. It’s slow, but it’s happening. I’m sick right now…on top of the healing process, thanks to prednisone, I’m very prone to sickness. So I’ve picked up a virus of some sort…it pleases the Lord for me to suffer, and since He very much wants me to get it right, looks like I get another opportunity! Ah…to suffer well…that is an ongoing challenge for me…
Wearing…pink knit long-sleeved tee, gray sweat pants and socks.
Reading…Holy Mary, Mother of God…Help Of All Christians by Fr. John Kane. A gift from a dear, dear friend whom I miss so very much.
Praying…that it becomes less and less painful to talk. To swallow. To breathe. To eat. That I will keep a spirit of gratitude for all the wonderful things that have occurred during this “down time…” As the title of this post says, I’m “not-so-busy”…not because of laziness…I’ve been forced into retirement for a time and I’m trying desperately to not fight it. I did try to plunge into all the housework as soon as my dear mother-in-law left on Wednesday…and paid for it dearly all night, and the next day and I believe I’m still paying a bit today. So…I’m slowing down. No…I’m stopping. And delegating. The children have been wonderful…I couldn’t ask for better. May God bless them all…
Hearing…my children playing Legend of Zelda – Twilight Princess…school work is done and no one wants to play in the snow right now…
Around the house…septic is acting up again. Laundry. Looks like a trip to the laundrymat will be necessary unless these septic problems are addressed soon. Lord…you seem to want me to grow in patience. I’m trying…but it’s so, so hard…
One of my favorite things…pain medication. At least for the past two weeks. I can’t imagine how one would cope with this level of pain without it. I’ve always been hesitant to take any kind of medication. All I can say is “Deo Gratias!” for medical science and all the conveniences that save our lives and make us more comfortable during the healing process. God bless all healers…
Here’s a picture thought I am sharing with you…
A few shots from my sweet boy, Gareth who loves the camera:
In the yard:
In the house:
And all around us…
Snow, snow, snow…and much, much more to come!
Blessings,
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged a busy mom's daybook | 4 Comments »
Imagine:
A mother, surrounded by her solicitous, clean and neatly dressed children. She is attired in the coziest pajamas imaginable, propped up with pillows, surrounded by cards and flowers and a bottle or two of prescription medication. She is suffering, but she’s at peace. Her freezer is stocked with meals for the family, the laundry all washed, so only daily maintenance is needed and she is able to rest and recuperate with many little hands quick to bring a hot beverage or soup or refill the empty water bottle.
Add a little soft music and a recently vacuumed living room to enhance the overall effect of serenity…
Now the reality:
Imagine the same mother, in the most excrutiating pain she’s ever experienced, doing all she can to hide that pain from worried spouse and children. Her face is horribly swollen, speech is garbled, the once cozy pajamas sweat-stained, and a growing pile prescription medications show a completely different picture, telling a tale of complications, trips to the ER, scary moments of not being able to breathe due to severe swelling, infection, etc…not exactly the scenario she had imagined but always existent in the far reaches of possibility, and then, reality. The laundry, a growing mound that the mother-in-law works at with such patience, with such diligence…which makes the mother weep as she sees this lovely, genteel woman bent over it, laboring to best sort, wash, clean and put away. She remonstrates herself for the weeks prior, that she accomplished so little. Dinner has been prepared every evening thanks to Dad, who’s missed more hours of work than was planned for due to mom’s complications and once again mom castigates herself for cooking for parties, cooking for friends…but not managing to better provide for her family’s needs during this down time…
So much stress, so much pain, so much sleep deprivation…
And yet…once again, grace creeps in on the edges. The laundry pile is diminishing. With an orderliness and a loving touch that is lately missing in my efforts, she accomplishes it. Slowly, to be sure. But well. I’m all about “get it done” not nearly as much “do it well, with grace, peacefully…” This is definitely more my mother-in-law’s style, and so I’m learning, once again, her gentleness in the midst of my chaos.
I witness her patience as she sits with the little ones, making sure math and phonics are accomplished throughout the day. Her style is not mine, but she helps and encourages them and the work gets done…and I have comfort in knowing that all is not lost academically during this down time…
Stumbling into my kitchen for pain medication, I notice little things. The counters seem cleaner, more organized. No crumb covered floors, nor unwashed dishes in the sink. Quietly and peacefully, she’s done all that I do, and I weep for my lack of appreciation…for the way I’ve felt “all is chaos” when everything is really just as it should be…
With all I didn’t do, it still gets done and I’m blessed by it. It can be heartrending when you fear you’ve let others down, when your pain is too much to hide, when the recovery seems to be too long and too hard. When you fear you’ve made a mistake…
Thus far we’ve been up against months of sickness, dozens of tests. A surgery hastily scheduled on my birthday, leaving a scant two weeks of preparation. Forewarned of the long recovery period and extreme pain, I resolutely trudged forward. The surgery itself was easy, no complications, the return home not too difficult.
By day three…nightmarish. Pain unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I’m embarrassed by it, but must admit my arrogance when I really wondered with all I’d suffered over the past 30 years of pregnancy, childbirth, complications and constant sickness…what could they really “throw” at me that I couldn’t handle?
Well…now I know…and that’s about all I can say. Because words hurt and tear at my throat. Tears sting my eyes for the words I can’t say and spill even as I type. Because it’s all about being humbled. Here I am, I signed up for this, said I’d do it and then find myself saying “wait, no! This isn’t what I meant! I had a different picture in mind…I want that picture! This one is so messy, so ugly…I’m trying to do the right thing but I’m using all the wrong tools…”
But God puts just the right tools in the right place. My mother-in-law observes the work that must be done and does it. My husband stays by my side as much as possible and doesn’t hesitate to leave work to take me to the ER to address breathing issues. He comforts me through my tears and fears, comes home and cooks dinner, never once complains when he hits the computer to finish up work until the wee hours of the morning…never once complains that coffee’s not ready, there’s no breakfast because everyone is exhausted in this ordeal. But no one has complained…
Except me. Voiceless, I have grumbled in my heart. When I can speak, I have rebuked myself for all my failings…as though the physical pain were not enough, I should bear the hurt of disappointment, too.
Well, I’m shelving my complaints now, opting for the grace that is given. The pain is far worse today and is expected to be worse tomorrow. But I can breathe now. Which is important…low oxygen levels and narcotics make a bad partnership and forming a thought was much more difficult yesterday than today. Last night’s visit to ER and threats of a hospital stay are fading away, and everything is clearer…
I can now see the keyboard to type. I don’t have to talk. I’ve finally changed out of the pajamas into significantly looser clothing…though this is not a liquid diet plan you’d want to sign up for…
And I’m in my warm home. With clean laundry. The children have been homebound and stir crazy, but as hubby said, the cars not running so it’s not like I’d be going anywhere anyway! The air is scented with the rich beefy aroma of pot roast simmering in the crockpot and I am comforted that my sweet mother-in-law is taking a bit of break. She and the teenagers have headed to the Mennonite market. That’s a real treat around here and something everyone enjoys. I hope she lingers. I’m racking my brain for some way to thank her, to adequately repay her for the grace that she brings to everything she touches…may God bless her and all who give aid to the suffering!
And may God bless you, my friends. I’ve read every comment, and blessed each of you for your prayers. I’ve had no sleep whatsoever in more than 36 hours, so you can be sure I’ve had more than ample to return “prayer for prayer.” Now if you could just talk to God about this sleep thing…prednisone is killing me. I’m on a really high dose, the engine is revved and even super strong narcotic pain medication isn’t counteracting the effects. I…need…sleep. Even an hour would be good…two or three? Even better!
Blessings,
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged humility, tonsillectomy recovery | 13 Comments »
Just pain.
Hazy and blurred…these past five days.
Prayers?
This is more pain than I’ve experienced in many years. Helplessness and holding onto the promise that these days will seem a bad dream soon.
No voice…fingers that trip one another due the powerful effects of pain medication, though not powerful enough by my clock. My clock seems to hang on that extra hour before the next dose.
Let’s just say it’s worse than I imagined and better than it could be.
When you think you have it bad, it could always be worse…
Thanks for all your prayers and for tolerating a post which I hope will make me laugh…in a few weeks…
Kimberly
Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments »
Too much pain and too many narcotics to “tell the tale…”
One funny observation:
You know you’re a homeschooler when the last conscious memory you have right before the anesthesia took effect is declining “puella” much to the amusement of the anesthesiologist who joined in the recitation with you…
Post tonisllectomy blessings,
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged post surgical humor | 5 Comments »
I’m such a procrastinator.
For two years we’ve had a single key to the family van. This van is the only vehicle we own large enough to transport all of us…tightly, but safely to Mass and other activities. One would think, with the obvious importance of our primary source of transportation, that we’d have at least two sets of keys and a spare.
Such was our intention…and we know all about “good” intentions!
That said, it was certainly no surprise when it occurred to me yesterday morning, list of errands in hand, that my keys were not on the buffet. Nor were they in my pocket or purse.
A sigh of extreme irritation. Dropping everything, I march to the computer, open Skype and hastily type a message to my husband:
“Hey…have you seen my keys?”
The long delay before his typed answer revealed what I feared:
“Sorry! They’re in my pocket. I’ll try to work something out, but I’m really slammed right now…”
So I put away my list and my plans…but not my irritation. It grew steadily throughout the day. A hastily typed message: “Can you come home now? Don’t forget the boys have Teen Night and I need to pick up a couple of $1.00 gifts for the exchange…I can’t leave here any later than 5:30.”
Poor guy. Working so hard, the insistent messages from his frazzled wife disturbing his day.
Well…he didn’t make it home early. He got home approximately 10 minutes before I needed to leave. The boys readied themselves, I grabbed my purse and my list…and then changed my plans:
“Why don’t we all go? We can pick up dinner with the little ones, and do these errands together!”
Am I nuts? Take ALL the children shopping? When I could have gone alone? Kind of nutty…but he took me up on it…
A few minutes later all eight of us are in the van…it was an extremely cold, drizzly, miserable evening. Five minutes into the drive, we noticed that the heat wasn’t working.
“I think the thermostat’s stuck…”
Those were the last words hubby said before the van completely lost power right in the middle of rush hour traffic on I-70. He really is the best driver I’ve ever known, and his skill in getting that vehicle into the emergency lane was something to see. Cool as a cucumber…nothing disturbs him. Not so, his wife! All of a sudden I had this image of me…in the passing lane, doing about 70 mph during rush hour…and the van losing power.
I don’t really want to finish that picture. I’d like to think I’d be as cool as he is, but I really don’t think I would. I couldn’t help thinking what incredible “God-incidences” there had been throughout the day. Hubby took the keys…had he not, I’d have been out, alone, when the problem occurred. Had I not suggested the “family outing” I’d have been in rush hour traffic, alone…and it…was…bad…
I’ll spare you the minute details of how long it took to deliver the boys to their destination. Hubby insisted they make their outing. Or how long it took him, working in the freezing cold and drizzle, to get the vehicle cooled and operational. Or how it continued to overheat every two minutes. Or how frightening it was, at least for me, when the vehicle would lose power. How we went from parking lot to parking lot. I wondered if we’d ever make it home…
But, how sweet were the prayers of the children! The van was filled with “Hail Mary!” “Please, St. Joseph!” “St. Jude, help us!” Each one of the children offered a prayer of their own, asking God to help Daddy get us home. I feared that journey on the interstate, but amazingly enough the red light went off, the vehicle maintained power and we made it home. A few feet from our driveway…the light came on again and we coasted into our customary parking spot.
And there it sits. The family van won’t be moving anywhere anytime soon. Hubby is quite sure it is a head gasket. As he does all our repairs, he knows the complications of this particular job and is not sure if he can do it, due to the location of the gasket. And it’s a Chevrolet. My “Ford Man” constantly expresses his frustration over the fact that Chevy doesn’t want the average Joe repairing his car. Head gasket removal on this van is terribly difficult, terribly expensive. He has the skills…he just doesn’t have a hydraulic lift and endless hours to work on it.
Yet…I’m quite thankful. We made it home safely. Hubby still has his little car to get to work. I have surgery in a few days, so it’s not like I’ll be out and about. The only problem: Mass. Please say a prayer for us! Our sweet little van seated eight. This weekend, I’m sure my mother-in-law will be able to help out, but after that…I’m just not sure. God in His infinite wisdom has already worked out the details of this dilemma, I’m quite sure. We just haven’t received that particular directive!
Blessings,
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged god-incidences | 8 Comments »
…for my dearest friends!
Please pray for the Smith family. They are in the midst of the most complicated job transfer they’ve ever experienced and are facing an extreme trial that could have a great impact on their ability to sell their home. No details to offer, just a humble request for prayers on their behalf. Sandra will be traveling on Monday and Wednesday with the children, so prayers for a safe trip and good weather would be appreciated as well.
Blessings,
Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »
The world awash with sunlight, air filled with the diamond glitter of blowing snow; needle, grass, post and branch adorned with feathers of ice:
Blessings from the land of ice and snow,
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged beauty, ice feathers, snow | 5 Comments »
Visit Peggy at The Simple Woman for more Daybook entries!
FOR TODAY – January 12th, 2010
Outside my Window….softly falling flakes upon a vast, white vista. Snow, snow…everywhere snow. 19 inches since December, 10 of those inches since January 1st. Fifteen consecutive days of snow. It’s kind of funny…the children now look out the window and say…”ah, man! It’s snowing. Again!” I think they’ve had their fill. Wonder what they’d think if they’d been on the east coast during the blizzard? They have no memory of the Storm of the Century in 1993. We received 36 inches…in south eastern Kentucky. I…was not…at home. No…I was trapped in Huntsville, Alabama at the U.S. Space and Rocket Center with 80 very scared and homesick 4th and 5th graders. Huntsville had received 20 inches of snow in that storm and there wasn’t a snow plow, salt truck or shovel in sight. We watched a hotel crew try to clear the parking lot with rakes. Now that’s desperate!
Yeah. I think we have very little to complain about. And this pristine blanket of fluff makes for a pretty view from my classroom window…
Thinking…about how odd it is that we never seem to want to do that which is easily done. That the moment the detestable chore becomes impossible to accomplish, we want it more than anything…after several days of the worst plumbing catastrophe we’ve ever experienced, I’m once again looking at dishwashing, laundry and toilet scrubbing with a whole new level of appreciation. When you can’t scrub a toilet, you want to. When you can’t wash dishes, you want to. When you can’t wash clothes (and when there soaked in raw sewage!) you really, really want to! And when you’ve complained that the propane isn’t really a very comfortable way to heat a home, and then you find that same propane furnace no longer working…well, you think propane is pretty warm after all, after a couple days of sub-freezing temperatures.
So…I’ve been happily washing. Happily laundering. Happily showering and toilet scrubbing…and cleaning everything with a much better attitude. It seems it pleases our Lord to regularly give me these little “attitude adjustments.” Trust me, for those of you who think I’m such a paragon of virtue, I can lob quite a few complaints with the best of them! Well…my grumbling is stilled for awhile as I gratefully accept the beauty of these restored modern conveniences. It’s been a tough weekend, one of changed plans and rolling with the punches. We’ve rolled…and now we’re ready to roll on…
Thankful for…plumbing. And heating. ‘Nuff said.
From the kitchen…5 loads of freshly washed dishes. Clean countertops. A mopped floor. Oh? You mean food? Oh, yeah…leftover Murphy’s Stout stew for lunch and ?? for dinner. My brain is a bit fried right now from all the cleaning, but like I said…not complaining! Dinner will be served, I just need to peruse the freezer. Turkey pie is a distinct possibility…
Faith and learning…ah, yes. We were supposed to start school yesterday, but “the best laid plans of mice and men…” you know the rest. The classroom is nearly ready, last years papers filed, supplies restocked and a new schedule is in the works. It will happen. I’m working on it, and the good Lord is working on me!
Creating…been crocheting and knitting a bit more. Have finished a few little things. And a couple of crafty items. Nuttin’ much…
Planning…school. And my post-surgery recuperation period. Trying not to stress. All will be well…
Wearing…white corduroys, turtleneck and pink cabled sweater. Socks and slippers.
Reading…listening to a few audiobooks. Lots of free stuff online…
Praying…for the Mills family. Would you join me? This homeschooling family has had a lot of adversity lately and could really use as many prayer warriors as possible. Also praying for two dear friends who are moving to IL and TN. That their transitions be effected as quickly and smoothly as possible.
Hearing…Librivox mp3 download of The Imitation of Christ. Beautifully read and totally free…
Around the house…things are a bit less cluttered but still feeling much needs to be done. Ah, to have someone come in a purge it all…I’d like to go for that uncluttered monastic look. Well, perhaps that’s a bit extreme but I’d like the eye to be “taken” by beauty, not “distracted” by clutter. I’m redefining what constitutes clutter. That which is not beautiful, which is not useful, which doesn’t bless is clutter…
One of my favorite things…flushing toilets, clean laundry and warm rooms.
Here’s a picture thought I am sharing with you…
Quickly snapped by Gareth from the dining room window. Hello Mr. Cardinal! My, you sure look handsome against that white backdrop…
Blessings,
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged the simple woman's daybook | 2 Comments »
Dark and cold.
It was the cold that awakened me. Peeking out from under the heavy layer of blankets, the frigid air was like a slap in the face.
Slipping on a turtleneck and fleece pants, I quickly ventured downstairs. The air was surprisingly colder than upstairs. Fearing that someone had accidentally turned down the thermostat, I hurried into the dining room.
No. The thermostat was set solidly at 69 degrees and yet the furnace was quiet. Opening the utility door closet I was given a hearty “good morning” by the ominous flashing of the green emergency light.
The furnace blower fan had malfunctioned. It was, in fact, burnt out. Perhaps caused by the constant non-stop running due to the abnormally frigid temperatures we’ve been experiencing over the past two weeks. For whatever reason, it was no more…
What next?
The lingering odor of raw sewage still permeates the frigid air. We haven’t been able to bathe, launder or wash dishes for three days now. No plumber available until Monday. The furnace part must be ordered. The two kerosene heaters are struggling to stave off the intense cold, but can’t quite keep up.
What to do? Well…the Ingalls family certainly knew how to deal with the hand that had been dealt. As Pa would frequently utter when faced with adversity: “Needs must when the devil drives…” In other words, when bad things happen, you must go forward because you simply can’t go back.
And so forward we go. Which means this:
When every dish in your house is dirty you fill two of your largest pans with hot water. One for wash and one for rinse. Huddled beside the kerosene heater, you wash and rinse. You lay the dishes upon a clean towel and marvel at the sweet little six year old who gleefully joins you, towel in hand, to dry.
“It’s just like living in olden times, Mommy!” she excitedly exclaims.
Ah, that I had that enthusiasm! We are certainly not strangers to inconvenience, but I always marvel at the children who handle it so much better than I. They are real troopers and simply accept that this is what we must do…so we do it.
I’m praying for a quick resolution to these “inconveniences.” I feel grumpy and irritated by the tools that are used to lead me to holiness. Would that I could relax in the hands of the Master as He works on me, whittling away at my frustration and desire to control the uncontrollable. To be the fixer.
Ah, the white martyrdom of motherhood. So many suffer so much more than I, and yet the “I” is ever present as I try to not cry, frown and complain grow in virtue in this new trial.
And so here’s to “living like olden times.” Back to the kitchen. The cold, dirty and grace-filled kitchen where I will continue to “work out my salvation in fear and trembling…”
It’s so cold in there, I think I have the trembling part down pat…
Blessings,
who wishes she was more like Laura Ingalls Wilder!
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged adversity, grace, inconvenience | 3 Comments »
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the septic line that would not clear
‘Twas in January, cold and bleak,
The toilets did begin to leak.
They wouldn’t flush, they couldn’t drain
Poor father moaned and racked his brain…
The sink backed up, the tub did too
And worst of all, the mother knew
The lament of a laundry room aflood,
And a mess that far exceeded the mud
She’s much accustomed to on the farm
But now the family’s sounded the alarm:
The septic is backed up! The septic is backed up!
To arms..to arms…the septic is backed up!
So sorry…I’m waxing poetic over that instrument of supreme torture formerly known as the septic system. It is so hard to be “grace filled” in the midst of this mess. God wills it, so it must be. But…I must admit that I’m 
just a mite put out over the plans which have been foiled due to this latest domestic disturbance.
Plans? Are you laughing? Yes…I still have the audacity to have plans of my own. You see…I have surgery coming up in a week and a half. Two weeks minimum of recuperation time before I can do any kind of work and probably more like a month before I’m completely back to normal. All on the heels of Christmas and an extended break. So I’m planning. Laundry: wash it all. Cabinets: stock them. Freezer: prepare meals for the “down time.” School: outline a clear plan of action allowing for as much independent work as possible. Self: videos, books, soothing beverages and soups. And rest, thanks to the loving assistance of husband and mother-in-law.
Those were my plans. And sometimes plans go awry. Just like the septic.
The new plan: spend this Saturday sorting through a sodden, disgusting mass of laundry that had been sorted and bagged for transport to the laundry mat. All…wet. And, well…yeah. They smell really, really bad. Would you want to take them to a public laundry mat? Would you want to be the one in line behind me to use the machine after I did? I sure wouldn’t! I may just have to pitch those things that can be pitched and hang a few things on the ice covered clothes line until the problem is resolved.
There’s still the rest of the list…but I’m losing steam. I’m like that crazy woman who cleans her house before the housekeeper comes. I’m trying so hard to make sure there’s no work left for those who wish to work for me. I think I’m being asked to let go, but it’s really hard to do that. To be vulnerable. To need help. To let others…do.
Ah, well…when life throws muddy water at you…make a mud pie!
Think I’ll go do that now. In my laundry room.
Blessings,
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged ha...ha...ha, septic tank humor | 1 Comment »
A great big thank you to dear Marianne at The Patron Saint of the Year Ministry. We’ve been “chosen” by two Saints this year and both are particular favorites of our family. They are: St. Louis IX, Confessor and King of France and St. Nicholas of Myra, the Patron Saint of Children! What an amazing combination…and what an incredible opportunity to get to know our new friends a bit better.
You may read about St. Louis here. This is one of my favorite quotes attributed to our good Saint:
“If God send thee adversity, receive it in patience and give thanks to our Saviour and bethink thee that thou hast deserved it, and that He will make it turn to thine advantage. If He send thee prosperity, then thank Him humbly, so that thou becomest not worse from pride or any other cause, when thou oughtest to be better. For we should not fight against God with his own gifts.”
And then there’s good St. Nicholas. It seems he’s been a good friend for years, but now wants us to get to know one another a bit better. Perhaps we need the reminder that his patronage extends throughout the year…not just during the Advent/Christmas season.
You may read more about St. Nicholas of Myra here.
And this quote…attributed to St. Nicholas encapsulates the spirit of giving:
The Giver of every good and perfect gift has called upon us to mimic His giving, by grace, through faith, and this is not of ourselves.
And so we have a couple of friends who wish to know us better…and the rest of the year, indeed, the rest of lives to accomplish it. How wonderful will it be, dear friends, to meet all those who’s intercession we’ve sought and patronage we’ve enjoyed? Do we not honor and glorify God by loving those who love Him best?
I certainly think so!
How wonderful will that reunion be, how perfectly will we know one another when united in the glory of Heaven…
St. Louis, Confessor and King…Pray for us!
St. Nicholas of Myra, Patron of Children…Pray for us!
Blessings,
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FOR TODAY – January 5th, 2010…Happy Birthday to me!
Outside my Window….Snow. Ice. More snow. And then there’s the snow. Did I mention snow? Nothing like the blizzard the rest of the country received, just a constant and ongoing supply of the white stuff. And blisteringly, freezing, frigid, icy-cold creeping in around the doors and windows. We finally have propane but still must rely heavily on the kerosene heaters to achieve true warmth. May God bless and protect the homeless and those suffering from these bitterly cold temperatures…
Thinking…about my upcoming surgery. January 21st is the day. A very long, very painful convalescence stretches before me and I’m preparing as best I can. This website is both funny and informative…I’m taking a lot of his advice and looking forward to improved health in the future.
Thankful for…hot coffee and my Snuggie. Yeah…Snuggie rocks! Mine is this deliciously fluffy pink microfiber concoction. A blanket with sleeves…who’da thunk? It is the ultimate knitter’s companion!
From the kitchen…well…I forgot to get out the turkey last night. Trying really hard to defrost it in time for dinner. It may be a soup and sandwiches night after all! C’est la vie…
Faith and learning…We start school next week. And the children are anxious! I need the rest of this week to clean and organize the classroom, file the first semester papers, etc. for a fresh start. And pick up a few school supplies…
Creating…I’ve done quite a lot of knitting lately. Since I’m no longer on medication for high blood pressure, I no longer have debilitating cramps in my hands. Oh, yeah…forgot to tell you about that! It appears that my doctor jumped the gun a bit on the blood pressure issue. Looks like the obstructive nature of all the facial and tonsil swelling was responsible. I’ve been weaned of the meds and my BP has been normal for sixty days. Last night’s reading: 110/58. Deo Gratias!
Planning…preparing a menu to freeze meals for my convalescence. Hubby will be home for a few days afterwards and the children and I are going to work very hard to catch up on laundry and meal preparation…
Wearing…gray sweats, maroon turtleneck, polar fleece sweater. And wool socks. It’s c-c-c-cold.
Reading…Little snatches of Liberty and Tyranny. From hubby’s night table…
Praying…for the poor and those facing the rigors of this brutal weather…
Hearing…the children playing “Legend of Zelda…”
Around the house…so much to be done. The septic is unhappy and laundry washing is a slow affair because of it. I really need to go to the laundry mat and just get it all done at once. But that’s kind of expensive…so a slow load at a time is the best I can manage…
One of my favorite things…the joyful expression on the face of my 16 year old when he told me he finally hit the 6 foot mark. My big guy…
Here’s a picture thought I am sharing with you…
Blessings,
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It’s that time……time to let a Saint “choose” you for 2010!
A most Happy and Joyous New Year to each and every one of you! What better way to start the New Year than to find a new heavenly “friend” as a prayer partner?
The Patron Saint of the Year Ministry has been a blessing to families who’ve participated in this unique opportunity to unite with a particular Saint in prayer for the coming year. As always, Marianne so graciously offers her assistance in helping a Saint choose you!
A quick email is all it takes…all information is available on her blog. This is not a fad…it is a pious practice that has its origins in religious life and is a lovely tradition. Our family has enjoyed doing this for a few years, now.
I can’t wait to see what Heaven has in store for us this year…
Blessings,
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged devotions, patron saint of the year ministry, tradition | 2 Comments »
…I love about you, my son:
1. I love the way your mind works, logically assessing every situation, affirming daily just how much you’re like your father…
2. I love the way you raise that one eyebrow…quizzically, humorously, disarmingly. No one can stay mad for long, nor argue effectively when looking at your expression!
3. I love that you call me “momkins” in that silly voice…
4. I love the way you’re so protective of your siblings. Yes…I know they think you’re a tyrant at times, but one day they’ll understand just how much you worry about them…
5. I love the way you’ve embraced your masculinity. Fearless and bold…never afraid to step up and defend the defenseless. I’ve seen it time and time again…
6. I love your creativity. How quickly you find a solution to a seemingly impossible dilemma…
7. I love your skillfulness. There’s nothing you can’t fix or repair. Just…like…your father…and his father before him…
8. I love the way you serve the Mass. A Master of Ceremonies by the age of fourteen…the gravity and awe of that responsibility is etched so clearly upon your face every Sunday. And seeing you kneel beside sibling after sibling for their First Holy Communion? Priceless…
9. I love the way you love your sisters. How you consider yourself the “big brother” no matter their age…especially with Clementine. Your protectiveness of her is a joy to observe…
10. I love the way you always take the lead. You don’t wait for someone else to get the job done. You’re more than willing to shoulder full responsibility or to make things happen…
11. I love your sense of humor. Like Father Lutz says…you’re one of the funniest guys he knows, but most people would never realize it because you seem so serious…but we know, don’t we?! I’m thinking about all those little “tricks” you particularly like to play on “momkins!”
12. I love the relationship you have with your Grandfather…how you love spending time with him. You’re very much alike, and he loves you so very much…
13. I love how tenderly and lovingly you help those in need…thank you for your compassionate heart!
14. I love that you think your dad is the best guy, ever! Your so much like him and you’re growing into an amazing man. You’ve had a fantastic example…
15. I love our conversations. How well you express yourself. You’ve become a great companion…
16. And, finally, I love you because you’re you. There’s no one else like you…I praise God for you, my first born son, and could go on and on…but I also know that this kind of stuff drives you crazy…so I’ll stop now and simply say:
Happy Birthday, big guy…I’m so proud of you!
Love,
Momkins
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For nearly two weeks it lay there, nestled far beneath the low branches of the Christmas tree. It was the first gift she had ever wrapped by herself. Roughly the size of a walnut, wrapped in many layers of paper and tape, she proudly showed me what she had done.
“It’s for you, Mommy…I wrapped it all by myself. I think you’ll like it,” she said with a shy smile.
“Well of course I will! Emily, you are so precious to wrap a gift for Mommy! I can’t wait to open it.”
She gingerly placed it under the tree and would, from time to time, check to make sure it was still there. I mused at what “treasure” my sweet six year old might have placed in such a small container. Bubble gum machines are a big thing with Emily, and I was quite sure I’d receive one of the many plastic and metal adjustable rings she’d collected over the past few months. I was touched…knowing how hard it is for this little one to part with her “jewels.” I kept reminding myself to make a big fuss over it on Christmas morning.
And so it was, with great joy, that she placed that tiny package on my lap on Christmas morning.
I struggled past the many layers of tape and gasped in surprise at the beautiful chaplet bracelet that lay inside a small plastic egg…one usually reserved for those bubble gum machine treasures.
“Emily! Is this for me? Really? You don’t mean it…this is your very favorite chaplet. It’s so lovely. Surely you don’t mean to give this away? It’s one of the nicest things you own, and it was a gift. Don’t you want to keep it for yourself?”
Smiling broadly, she explained: “I like it very much, but I wanted to give you something really, really nice. It was the nicest thing I have. You told me how much you liked it, so I wanted to give it to you. It’s yours.”
Torn. I had told her how lovely that bracelet was when she received it. I had even stated how much I’d like to have one like it. I certainly had never meant for her to give it to me! I was so tempted to refuse the gift…it seemed too precious, too valuable to take from such a loving child.
So many thoughts ran through my mind and almost instantly it dawned on me…this is what we all must do. We must, without reserve, without thought for self, give the very best we have. Isn’t that what God did when He sent His only begotten Son? Our very first Christmas gift…a gift of infinite value, wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger…a little baby waiting, little arms reaching up, later to reach out, stretch out upon the Cross at Calvary. God gave the best He had…He didn’t weigh the cost of this Gift. Our Father in heaven held back nothing, not even His own Son…born to die, that we might live. God is the ultimate giver of all gifts, and by His example we all learn what it is to give from the heart.
Like little Emily.
I thanked her, and immediately put on the bracelet. It lay cold across my wrist, it’s brightly polished grey beads slowly warming to body temperature. Even now, it jingles upon the keyboard as I type…a reminder of how well my sweet girl has learned “it is better to give than it is to receive.” I don’t believe she opened a single gift as joyfully as she gave the one I’m wearing.
The bits of wrapping paper and boxes are all cleared away, now. Christmas has begun…days of joy, days of peace, days in which we’ll all try to remember the beautiful Gift we’ve all received that still waits in the manger in Bethlehem…
Merry Christmas,
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FOR TODAY – December 14, 2009 – 3rd week of Advent…hurray! The pink candle is lit…
Outside my Window….a not-so-cold, but infinitely dreary Monday morning. Mist and rain, more the look of dusk, than dawn. It’s good to be inside…
Thinking…about yesterday. It was a lovely day. The Feast of St. Lucia, celebrated by little girls singing and serving at dawn. Rose colored vestments at Mass and another amazing homily. A Christmas party with a visit from St. Nick and the Krampus, lighting the pink candle on the Advent wreath…lots of friends, family and fun…
Thankful for…Nyquil. Looks like I’ve picked up some kind of virus. Just in time for my consult with the ENT surgeon…
From the kitchen…Hot coffee, bagels and cream cheese. Eggs, grits and toast. For dinner: I don’t know. I’m totally uninspired and feeling completely ill. I’ll have to get back with you on this one. My meal planning has gone out the window for the last four days. The kitchen painting catastrope has thrown me for a loop.
What? You didn’t hear about it? Oh, yes. Well…picture this: 10 days of painting a kitchen that should’ve taken maybe 2 to 3 hours tops. Fatigue and perfectionism are a deadly combination. It only took a gallon of paint to finish the entire project…except for that one four foot swath of wall…thank heavens I had another gallon! A few strokes and rolls here and there, and eureka! The kitchen was done. Jubilant, I went about my day trying to finish up other tasks that had been shelved during the kitchen project. A few hours later I return and discover that the drying paint is a full shade darker than the current paint. EEEK! Trying hard to compose myself, I decide that I can probably get by with the one wall…I’ll simply repaint that wall, and the shade difference would most likely be imperceptible. That’s when I notice the other wall. With the big, drippy roller marks where sweet Charlotte attempted to try her own hand at painting. And then I looked at the can of paint…satin, not flat like the original color…
To say that I “lost it” would be a bit of an understatement. Let’s just say, I made a nice apology, went to confession, and I promise to be a good girl now…
So we’re back to square one. The whole kitchen must be repainted and I just don’t have the energy to do it. Seems the Lord is asking me to let go and let one of the other able bodies in this house take care of it!
Faith and learning…reading, crafting, baking…all the seasonal joys of Advent. It’s almost time for the O Antiphons. We have a few activities planned for this week in conjunction with them…
Creating…well…until I get over this awful virus, whatever I can manage from the couch!
Planning…a visit to the ENT surgeon, pick up the CT scan and report. A period of convalescence and healing…hopefully after Christmas, not before!
Wearing…hot pink fleece pajamas covered with cupcakes…
Reading…Holy Scripture. That’s about it.
Praying…for a sick friends, for two friends who’ve recently given birth, for a pregnant mom that she continue her pregnancy safely, for my three adult children whom I miss greatly!
Hearing…the children talking over hot tea and breakfast…
Around the house…a Christmas tree nearly decorated, mantle decked in greenery, nativity sets and candles…the delightful scent of pine…
One of my favorite things…hot beverages and how they soothe a sore throat…
Here’s a picture thought I am sharing with you…
This weekend we were visited by an enormous flock of wild turkeys. I wasn’t able to get to the camera before they left and lamented that missed shot. Then Gaudete Sunday…returning home from our parish Christmas party we spied a small flock of swans. As lovely in flight as they are gliding upon the water. Camera ready, I snapped a couple photos. Not as close, nor as clear as I’d like, but lovely nonetheless:
Blessings,
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Long before sunrise, two sleepy girls dressed quietly in the cold, a holly berry wreath upon the head of one, a candle in the hands of the other as they approached the darkened bedrooms…singing in the hushed darkness, presenting buns and hot tea to brothers and father…
Such began another traditional celebration of the Feast of St. Lucia…which, this year, happened to fall upon Gaudete Sunday.
The day has been full…from our early rising, to Mass, to the parish Christmas party…we’ve made memories galore and have captured a few sweet images I’d like to share. Here’s a quick peek at the day’s fun:
Emily’s first time serving as St. Lucia…she’s so very serious:
Two giggly girls…
Making up after a quick “spat”:
A pensive moment for our young “saint:”
And now the parish Christmas party…very well attended:
Our beloved pastor…and an amazing pianist, Fr. Kevin Lutz:
Oh, my goodness! It’s St. Nicholas! And the dreaded Krampus:
Have you been a good girl, Emily? The Krampus is not so sure…
“Pray for the poor…be a good girl!”
Charlotte’s not afraid…she’s with the Patron Saint of Children!
How about you, Gareth? Have you been very, very good?
Good Ol’ St. Nick thinks you’ve been pretty good…
And how about Galahad? St. Nick asked him if he wanted to be a priest and told him to strive for holiness. Words of wisdom for us all!
And now, off to bed. May God grant you joy and peace as you continue your Advent journey towards the crib in Bethlehem…
Blessings,
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged gaudete sunday, st. lucia feast day | 2 Comments »
Every year, my mom and dad gift our family with a Columbus Zoo and COSI membership. As a large family, these gifts are invaluable, providing us a year long opportunity for fun at two of our best-loved places. One of our favorite aspects of the zoo membership is the annual Wild Lights display. It is truly spectacular! And there’s something so very festive about walking through this zoo at night. Vendors selling hot cocoa, cider and cinnamon roasted almonds and pecans. Cotton candy in the brisk, night air.
This year’s trip was most enjoyable. Our dear friend, Hilaire, was our guest, in honor of his birthday. It was a lovely evening, though we were a bit disappointed that the Christmas model train village was not on display.
Here’s a reprise:
A wonderland of “wild lights…”
A whirlwind ride on the carousel…
A happy family…
Tired bats…
Tired langurs…
And a very tired little girl…
And yet, an enjoyable evening. Little traditions make a big difference. Do you have a special favorite? What does your family enjoy most during this season? I look forward to you sharing!
Blessings,
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I am a traditional Catholic homeschooling mother of 9 children, married for 27 years to the most patient and sainted man. As converts to Catholicism in 1991, our family has only recently discovered the beauty and full expression of our beliefs in the timeless liturgy of antiquity, the Extraordinary Form also commonly referred to as the Traditional Latin Mass. An avid knitter, I also enjoy gardening, reading and immersing myself in the everyday graces of my vocation.
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